


sorrow

by Distantvampire



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Death, Loss, M/M, Sorrow, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 01:05:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/933287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Distantvampire/pseuds/Distantvampire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the prompt here: http://imagineyourotp.tumblr.com/post/58457719648/tw-death</p><p> 'Imagine person A of your OTP arriving home after person B’s funeral. They’ve held themselves together so far and, afraid of being idle in the now very empty house, decide to take a shower and go to bed. As they step out of the shower, however, they notice the steam has fogged up the mirror. Written on the glass is a mushy ‘I love you’ from person B, who must have scrawled it there on the morning of their death. Person A finally breaks down, sobbing on the bathroom counter as the fog - and the message - fade away.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	sorrow

They knew the risks of the life they lived every day. It still doesn't make it easier though, facing facts, accepting the truth. Even for a man of science who's very existence was fueled on understanding he can't fathom this – it crushes him, burns him, _breaks_ him.

 

A week ago they had been cocky, laughing through kisses and moments of joy tangled together in the early morning. And then, the call. Even then it had been tossing each other clothes, still joking and laughing, faces bright with smiles and nothing but love in their eyes. There was no thought other than how they would spend their night when they got home, maybe make dinner, watch a movie, fall asleep curled up into each other.

 

From somewhere behind the green he remembered watching, unable to help, unable to do anything, and he knew that even all the work they had done that stupid metal box was never meant to take that hit – never meant to save him from something like that. He didn't remember waking or coming back out of the green until three days later.

 

He knew that he had to go home eventually and he would have to face the rest of their team. The rest of their lives. The unyielding sadness made him weary down to his bones but he had always expected this sensation. He had been resigned to this fate, solitude, sorrow, loneliness but then that smug, sarcastic, beautifully brilliant man had made him believe in something else again. It ache became a rock sitting on his chest, weighing him down, making him hurt.

 

Coming back to the Tower was unbearable, the silence walking around in their apartment, their lab, their space it strangled him. He couldn't bring himself to go into their bedroom, even though all he really wanted was to surround himself in the comforting smells that defined the man he loved the most. Coconut, metal, grease. Smells that had become his favorite things, things that comforted him - now the thought just filled him with pain.

 

The morning of the funeral he had pulled out a deep charcoal grey pinstripe suit and he could almost hear the voice in the back of his head ' _I saved the best for last, it goes with the dark purple shirt – oh c'mon, just try it on, for me? Please?'_ His knuckles clinched so tight on the hanger they were white – and he put the purple shirt back, grabbing instead a dark red shirt from the other side of the closet. He dressed with trembling hands, saying nothing the entire time, every bit of his body screaming for everyone to leave him alone, his chocolate eyes staring solemnly at the dark mahogany casket. Even when the eyes of their friends had turned towards him, expecting him to speak he could not. A small strangled sound from deep in his chest and he could offer nothing more.

 

He came home unable to put it off anymore, leaving a trail of his clothes in a path to the shower. Closing the door, the water started off and gradually got hotter, as he liked. By the time he exited the shower the bathroom was muggy and full of steam. On the mirror in the engineer's usual scribble was ' _I love you_ ' in tracks on the mirror where the steam had fogged the mirror.

 

He sank into his tears, his body trembling and succumbing to his sorrow. For once not even the Other Guy made a sound, leaving him entirely on his own for the first time in almost two decades. What he had always dreamed of now made him even more aware that he was truly alone. The Other Guy was rage, anger, but he didn't understand being sad and he didn't understand loss. How long he stood there sobbing he had no idea, but as the message faded away, along with the last touches of the life he had always known he didn't deserve and the one that he would have traded anything to have again, the world faded, crackled into oblivion. 


End file.
